"...And it might have been a good idea to mention how ugly you think I am too," Hermione added as an afterthought. "But I don't think you're ugly," said Harry, bemused. Hermione laughed. "Harry, you're worse than Ron.... Well, no, you're not," she sighed, as Ron himself came stumping into the Hall splattered with mud and looking grumpy.

***

On their way downstairs they met Hermione. "Thanks for the book, Harry!" she said happily. "I've been wanting that New Theory of Numerology for ages! And that perfume is really unusual, Ron."

***

"Oh," said Ron, his smile fading slightly. "Are you that bad at kissing?" "Dunno," said Harry, who hadn't considered this, and immediately felt rather worried. "Maybe I am." "Of course you're not," said Hermione absently, still scribbling away at her letter. "How do you know?" said Ron in a sharp voice.

***

"You should write a book," Ron told Hermione as he cut up his potatoes, "translating mad things girls do so boys can understand them."

***

"Don't let Ron see what's on those Slytherin's badges," she whispered urgently. Harry looked questioningly at her, but she shook her head warningly; Ron had just ambled over to them, looking lost and desparate. "Good luck, Ron," said Hermione, standing on tiptoe and kissing him on the cheek. "And you, Harry --" Ron seemed to come to himself slightly as they walked back across the Great Hall. He touched the spot on his face where Hermione had kissed him, looking puzzled, as though he was not quite sure what had just happened.

***

"Hermione -- who are you going to the ball with?" said Ron. He kept springing this question on her, hoping to startle her into a response by asking it when she least expected it.

***

"We should get a movie on, you know...ask someone. He's right. We don't want to end up with a pair of trolls. Hermione let out a sputter of indignation. "A pair of...what, excuse me?" "Well -- you know," said Ron, shrugging. "I'd rather go alone than with -- with Eloise Midgen, say." "Her acne's loads better lately -- and she's really nice!" "Her nose is off-center," said Ron. "Oh I see," Hermione said, bristling. "So basically, you're going to take the best-looking girl who'll have you, even if she's completely horrible?" "Er -- yeah, that sounds about right," said Ron. "I'm going to bed," Hermione snapped, and she swept off towards the girls' staircase without another word.

***

Parvati seemed to be enjoying herself; she was beaming around at everybody, steering Harry so forcefully that he felt as though he were a show dog she was putting through its paces. He caught sight of Ron and Padma as he neared the top table. Ron was watching Hermione pass with narrowed eyes.

***

"We should get a movie on, you know...ask someone. He's right. We don't want to end up with a pair of trolls. Hermione let out a sputter of indignation. "A pair of...what, excuse me?" "Well -- you know," said Ron, shrugging. "I'd rather go alone than with -- with Eloise Midgen, say." "Her acne's loads better lately -- and she's really nice!" "Her nose is off-center," said Ron. "Oh I see," Hermione said, bristling. "So basically, you're going to take the best-looking girl who'll have you, even if she's completely horrible?" "Er -- yeah, that sounds about right," said Ron. "I'm going to bed," Hermione snapped, and she swept off towards the girls' staircase without another word.

***

He climed into the common room and found Ron and Hermione having a blazing row. Standing ten feet apart, they were bellowing at each other, each scarlet in the face. "Well, if you don't like it, you know what the solution is, don't you?" yelled Hermione; her hair was coming down out of it's elegant bun now, and her face was screwed up in anger. "Oh yeah?" Ron yelled back. "What's that?" "Next time there's a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!" Ron mouthed soundlessly like a goldfish out of water as Hermione turned on her heel and stormed up the girls' staircase to bed. Ron turned to look at Harry. "Well," he sputtered, looking thunderstruck, "well -- that just proves -- completely missed the point --"

***

"All the good-looking ones taken, Ron?" said Hermione loftily. "Eloise Midgen starting to look quite pretty now, is she? Well, I'm sure you'll find someone somewhere who'll have you." But Ron was staring at Hermione as though suddenly seeing her in a whole new light. "Hermione, Neville's right -- you are a girl...." "Oh well spotted," she said acidly. "Well -- you can come with one of us!" "No, I can't," snapped Hermione. "Oh come on," he said impatiently, "we need partners, we're going to look really stupid if we haven't got any, everyone else has..." "I can't come with you," said Hermione, now blushing, "because I'm already going with someone." "No, you're not!" said Ron. "You just said that to get rid of Neville!" "Oh did I?" said Hermione, and her eyes flashed dangerously. "Just because it's taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one else has spotted I'm a girl!"

***

Ron was still goggling at the girl as though he had never seen one before. Harry started to laugh. The sound seemed to jog Ron back to his senses. "She's a Veela!" he said hoarsly to Harry. "Of course she isn't!" said Hermione tartely. "I don't see anyone else gaping at her like an idiot!"

***

"He's really nice, you know," she said. "He's not at all like you'd think, coming from Durmstrang. He likes it much better here, he told me." Ron said nothing. He hadn't mentioned Viktor Krum since the ball, but Harry had found a miniature arm under his bed on Boxing Day, which looked very much as though it had been snapped off a small model figure wearing Bulgaria Quidditch robes.

***

Fleur bent down, kissed Harry twice on each cheek, then said to Ron, "And you, too -- you 'elped --" "Yeah," said Ron, looking extremely hopeful, "Yeah, a bit --" Fleur swooped down on him too and kissed him. Hermione looked simply furious.

***

"We will see each uzzer again, I 'ope" said Fleur, as she reached him, holding our her hand. "I am 'oping to get a job 'ere , to improve my Eenglish." "It's very good already," said Ron in a strangled sort of voice. Fleur smiled at him; Hermione scowled.

***

"No, it's just...how did she know Viktor asked me to visit him over the summer?" Hermione blushed scarlet as she said this, and determinedly avoided Ron's eyes. "What?" said Ron, dropping his pestle with a loud clunk. "He asked me right after he'd pulled me out of the lake," Hermione muttered. "After he'd got rid of his shark's head. Madam Pomfrey gave us both blankets and then he sort of pulled me away from the judges so they wouldn't hear, and he said, if I wasn't doing anything over the summer, would I like to --" "And what did you say?" said Ron, who had picked up his pestle and was grinding it on the desk, a good six inches from his bowl, because he was looking at Hermione. "And he did say he'd never felt the same way about anyone else," Hermione went on, going so red now that Harry could almost feel the heat coming from her, "but how could Rita Skeeter have heard him? She wasn't there...or was she? Maybe she has got an Invisibility Cloak; maybe she sneaked into the grounds to watch the second task...." "And what did you say?" Ron repeated, pounding his pestle down so hard that it dented the desk.

***